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belliflopping
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Country: Philippines
Metro: Manila
Gender: Female
Interests: reading, going to the movies, lounging around coffee shops, hollywood gossip (yey), local gossip (sadly), cute and cozy little restaurants, badminton, ramon pastelero, laughing til i cry, being w/ my closest and bestest of friends, getting lost in the internet
Expertise: a 20-year old free-spirited artist at heart trapped in the mind of an overanalytical, overly self-critical, capitalist, number- and profit-minded little princess
Industry: Business
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/24/2006
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| I can't help but tell my friends about how happy I am tonight-- now. I think I'm going through the best few months of my life. It's been tough; I'm being pushed in all ways possible but I see myself come out of each and every situation a better person...and that's what matters, right?? It's like I'm starting to enjoy these obstacles that stand in front of me everyday. I thrive on them and I happily climb over. And after more than a year, I can finally say that I AM happy. You know that feeling of wanting to run out into the streets, doing anything and everything you've always wanted, because at that particular moment you feel like you CAN (besides being drunk haha)?? I wanna do that right now. Yes, right now, hard rain, barefoot and in my big t-shirt. Because I feel like I can. But of course there still is that cynic inside. I still AM Belli, after all. This feeling I have right now...this freedom, this happiness will all go away on that wicked day-- the day I fall in love again. I see it so clearly. I'll still have the same feelings. But instead, I'll no longer be responsible for my own freedom and happiness. Why not?? Because I'm stupid enough to leave it all up to a boy just as careless as I am, I've learned. And the day he decides to stop trying (as I've learned), I'll go back to ground zero, be all self-pitiful and hateful, but I'll find my own happiness again, eventually. That's the sick cycle I will run.
But for now, I'm having the time of my life. And I love my friends. | | |
| From the top of my head...
1. A tub of FIC Pistachio ice cream
2. A year's subscription to Harper's Bazaar, Teen Vogue, InStyle
3. Jeans, jeans and more jeans
4. A date with my crush haha :)
5. Company on a lonely night like this one
6. Leakage to my Finance and OpMan tests just kidding ;)
7. More nights like last Thursday!!
8. A really, really cute planner for 2007
9. Cash
10. DVDs and soundtracks of teen movies of the 80s
11. I want to lose ten pounds
12. A happy, happy day for my Lolo
13. Photoshop SKILLS-- I wish there was a store where I could inject myself with "skills"
14. A trip to Boracay
15. A summer internship for a BIG company
16. Spa GCs
17. To do charity work (this is not in the sarcastic sense ha)
18. To finally go to confession | | |
| "'Cause nothing lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain."
It's Halloween tomorrow, and I am sooo excited! It's the one day that I can be anyone I want to be and people will understand. I'll be reusing my costume from two years ago with minor changes. I promise to post pictures! Wahoooo, I'm so so excited. I was planning my outfit last year pa but didn't have the time to put it together, which is why I'm just repeating nalang. I planned to dress up as the bride from the November Rain video, but I'll just look like a regular bride if I don't have someone to be my partner! I wanted someone to be my Slash hahaha =) It was a toss-up between that and the Top Gun couple. Yes, my heart is stuck in that era.
Watch the video! I super love this video. It brings back childhood memories.
This is my favorite Guns N Roses video, and I want my wedding to look just like it hahahaha...all the guests dressed that way plus the big hair.
"And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothing lasts forever
Even cold November rain." | | |
| I know I always say this, but I absolutley love the rain (not typhoon Milenyo rain, just pleasant showers). Yup, complete with the whole "giddy inside" feeling even without specific reason to be. There's something so comforting about it-- the smell of the air, the sound it makes on my roof (and I AM thankful that I have a roof), like its telling me that everything will be okay. It makes me want to stay home the whole day to read a good book or call up a friend for no particular reason. Speaking of which, I miss my friends a lot! Haha. The ones abroad and even the ones in town (since I wasn't allowed to Tagaytay/Subic, yet again), I see more when we have class!
I don't know whether to describe the past 3 weeks as the best of my life or as the worst. It was like a huge weight taken off my chest, helping me to breathe much better. No more feeling like shit the way I used to or getting pissed the way I used to...or even being happy the way he used to make me. Then again, its the absence of that weight, that comes with the love I have for him, that makes this decision seem like a mistake. Now I have to deal with the outbursts when alone in my room, having to worry about controlling my tears when out in public and pretending that I'm doing just fine. I guess the best decision is what'll make us happier, better people. Its a choice between the weight on my chest or that emptiness, almost like a deafening silence. So ya, the choice was made and the outbursts and pretending to be alright will just have to do for now. | | |
| I sooo can't wait for tomorrow. I just want to take my test and get it over and done with. Well as of now, 12 midninght, THE day of my exam, I only know like 2/3 of what I'm supposed to study. And of course, when I get home from my test tomorrow night, I'll have a million other things to worry about since I put everything else aside for this big test.
It's a pretty major exam for me since I bombed the first one. Well fine, I passed, and I passed by a lot (meaning more than 10 points), but I'm pretty sure that about 80% (maybe even 90%) of everyone else who took it did better than I did, and that's not a good thing. So ya, I have to fix up majorly.
Good night everyone! I'm gonna have to stay up late, late, late tonight.
Love,
Belli
P.S. I'm so so out of it. This whole school thing is just making me forget about the bigger world. The only thing I know as "news" is of postponed tests, guide questions or free cuts.
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